CRUEL BURGLARY WITH THE EXCHANGE OF SHOTS
London. (KLIMO). In the night of the 27th March, two men and a little boy broke into the villa of Mr. Brownlow. They wanted to find money. All three thieves were able to flee, but one of them got shot and wounded.
The police is suspecting that the wirepuller is none other than Bill Sikes. He is the most wanted crook in London. Bill is a pickpocket leader and a brutal professional burglar. He sends dozens of children out to the streets to steal whatever they can get in their hands. The boy is assumed to have entered the house threw the window in the bathroom. Mrs. Bedwin, Mr. Brownlow's housekeeper, woke up in the night, because she heard a noise. When she was creeping out to the stairs, she saw the little boy. He opened the front door for the two other men. Mr. Brownlow woke up, because Oliver cried for help. Then two shoots fell from the gun of one of the criminals and one of them wounded the little boy. He is called Oliver. In a later Interview Mr. Brownlow told the police, that he knows the little boy which was crying for help. He was put up by Mr. Brownlow and some day he disappeared.
Then the boy got gripped by the bad men and they drew him out of the house. "Oliver looked so scared and he was bad wounded, but I was shocked and wasn't able to help this poor creature", said Mrs. Bedwin hysterically to our reporter team.
Nothing was stolen but the house is watched by some observant police men now. Mr. Brownlow and his housekeeper are anxious and everybody hopes that nothing bad happened to the probably innocent boy.
All inhabitants of London are called upon to watch out of the dangerous crew and their follower, before they are able to start a new burglary. Detectives are still looking for that gang of criminals, but everyones help is kneed!
For details or tips to this fall- please go to the next police station
1 Kommentar:
exp: CRUEL BURGLARY WITH THE EXCHANGE OF SHOTS --> that's not said like this in English - maybe SHOOT-OUT AFTER CRUEL BURGLARY
exp: he sends them out into the streets
exp: to steal whatever they can get their hands on
sp/exp: threw (throw) <--> through
exp: She didn't "creep out" (creep = kriechen)
g: the boy who was crying
content: you seem to create the impression there were two young boys inside the house - but it was Oliver who opened the door. In a report you cannot first create the impression you don't know something and later you know it suddenly. A report only contains correct information (at the moment of writing).
exp: and one day he disappeared
exp: ziehen - pull
g: he was badly wounded
punctuation: ... creature," Mrs. Bedwin said.
exp: "observant policemen" --> unidiomatic
exp: "to watch out of the dangerous crew and their follower" --> What should it mean?
exp: " before they are able to start a new burglary." --> unidiomatic
exp: kneed <--> need (different words)
You start well, but then you change into story writing and you don't stick to the structure of a newspaper report. You also make more mistakes the further on you get.
Kommentar veröffentlichen